Sunday, January 31, 2016

A Joke You Can Tell in Church

Adlai was proud of his son, who had just graduated from High School and would be going to Harvard in the fall.  It was expected that he would excel in his studies (as he had done in high school), and would continue on to Harvard Business School to receive his MBA.

Adlai had raised his son as best he could, and felt that as a graduation present he would send the boy to Israel for a few weeks.  That way he would be able to come face-to-face with his Jewish heritage, and see his ancestral homeland with his own eyes.

When the boy had returned home from Israel, Adlai met him at the airport and after the usual hugs and greetings asked, “Well, my son… how did you like Israel?”

“It was wonderful, Father.  I saw so many things; my mind is still having trouble processing everything!  It was such a meaningful, personal journey… walking among things both ancient and new.  And, there’s something else I should tell you…” he trailed off, almost hesitantly.

“Well, what is it, my boy?” Adlai inquired.

“Among all of the wonderful things that I saw and did, the most wonderful thing was that I became a Christian!”

Adlai was silent.  He eyes blinked a few times, trying to hold back tears of disbelief.  The rest of the ride home was driven in utter silence on Adlai’s part, while the lad told of his adventures during his trip to the Promised Land.

As soon as they had arrived back at the house, Adlai quietly crept out and walked up the street to see his life-long friend Hyram.  He waited impatiently after ringing the doorbell, fidgeting with nervous energy – not sure exactly how to gently word his question.  Hyram answered the door, and invited Adlai in.  However, Adlai asked Hyram almost sheepishly, “Perhaps it would be best if you stepped outside and we could take a walk?”

“Certainly.  Let me tell my wife I’ll be gone for a little while and then we’ll talk.”

After they walked for a couple of blocks, they came to a park and sat down on a nearby bench.  “Hyram,” Adlai began, “you know that I sent my son to Israel as a graduation present?”

“Well of course I do” Hyram answered.  Why does this seem to upset you?

“Because I sent him there to learn about his Jewish heritage, and when he came back he said that he had become… a Christian!”  Adlai looked pale and shaken, and then added, “I don’t understand it!  What did I do wrong?  WHY did this happen?”

Hyram sat there silently for a long time, very carefully weighing his words to give an insightful answer.  A couple of times he opened his mouth to speak, only to exhale instead.  After a couple of these false starts, he finally managed to say, “It’s a funny thing you should ask me that question.”

He then related to Adlai how he had sent his own son to Israel just the year before – also as a graduation present – to learn of his Jewish heritage and to find a closer meaning to their life and faith.  And then he told Adlai of his utter shock and sorrow when the boy had returned… and he too had become a Christian!

The men sat there silently for a moment and then turned and looked in each other’s eyes.  “Hyram… I had NO idea!”

“I know… I was too ashamed to tell anybody!  Even you… I’m so sorry!”

“Hyram,” Adlai said, “let’s go see Rabbi Meyer.  Surely he can offer a little insight to our shared predicament!”  One meaning of the name Meyer is “giving light”, and light is something both Hyram and Adlai needed!  Hyram nodded in agreement and the two rose from the park bench and started walking to their local synagogue, which was only a few more blocks from where they were.

When they arrived they found Rabbi Meyer busily attending to some paperwork in his office.  It was a weekday and things were quiet, which was probably for the best considering the nature of the question the two men were about to ask.  Except for the small beam of light from the lamp on his desk the Rabbi’s office was dark.  This was not from lack of windows; it was just a dreary, cloudy day… much like the shared mood of Hyram and Adlai. 

When they arrived at the door of the Rabbi’s office, he looked up from his task and smiled.  He had grown up in the neighborhood with both Adlai and Hyram; as kids they were inseparable and were often teased by their parents as being the “Three Musketeers”.  “Come in, come in” the Rabbi said, with a big smile on his face.  “I needed an excuse to take a break from this…” He tastefully didn’t finish the sentence as he looked down at the paperwork and his smile changed to a pantomimed look of horror.  “What brings the two of you here on this otherwise uninviting day?”

Hyram and Adlai first looked at each other, and then at the Rabbi.  Then they glanced at each other once again, until Adlai took the lead.  “Rabbi Meyer… it’s like this.” 

He said, “You know that we’ve both always attended Temple without fail.  We strive to keep the Commandments, and we study and adhere to the words of the Torah.”

He then related the tale of how his son had gone to Israel, and had returned as a Christian.  And then Hyram jumped in and related the almost identical account of how the same thing had happened to his son only the year before.

When they had both shared their stories, the three of them sat silently in the dark.  The Rabbi could only blink his eyes; words were failing to come.  Finally in unison, Hyram and Adlai said, “We have done everything we should have done for our sons, and yet they both returned from Israel as Christians.  How could this happen?”

Finally Rabbi Meyer looked at his two friends, growing a little paler as he said, “It’s a funny thing you should ask me that question.”

The Rabbi got up and walked over to the door of his office, closed and locked it.  Then he returned to his seat and began to tell his two boyhood friends of how he, too, had sent his own son to Israel just a few years before.  His son returned from Israel, full of awe and wonder for the land he had visited… but also having become a Christian while he was there.  He had received a scholarship to UCLA and was living on the west coast, which was a blessing to the Rabbi because he never had to explain to anybody what had happened… until now.

“You know, my friends… I have no answers for you” Rabbi Meyer stated.  “But like you, I have questions!  And I think right now is the time to start seeking the answers!  My friends, pray with me right now… please.”

And pray they did.  If ever there was a time when three people prayed a prayer as one, this was it.  They reminded God that they truly believed in Him, were proud of their heritage, and so grateful for the sons He had blessed them with.  And yet when they sent their sons to Israel to deepen their faith, they instead returned as Christians.  All three cried out to the Lord at once, “Please tell us why our sons went to Israel as good Jewish men and came back as Christians!  God!  How could this happen?”

Then they buried their faces into their hands as they knelt on the floor, weeping and waiting for an answer to the most heartfelt prayer they had ever offered up to the Creator.  The silence in the dark little office became almost heavy, and then very slowly the dim lighting gave way to a brilliant, pure light that was not coming from outside the building but was originating from right there in the room!  So quickly the three men asked once again, “We sent our sons to Israel to learn the ways of our people, and they returned home Christians.  Why, God?  HOW could this happen to us?”

At that moment they all heard a voice, one that sounded like it came from the far corners of the universe… and yet originated from inside each of the men all at the same time.  Indeed, it was the Lord, and he said unto them:  “Oy vey!  Funny thing you should ask me that question!”

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 I need to give credit where credit is due.  That joke was not mine… in fact I have no idea of its origin.  I heard one similar to it told by Larry Miller in the “Joke of the Week” portion on his podcast The Larry Miller Show (available on iTunes and other podcast aggregators).  It’s one of those “shaggy dog” stories – in other words, you can add color and description to your heart’s content as long as you still get to the punch line.  Every now and then they pull a joke out of the hat that I like… and this was one of those.  I hope you enjoyed it too… and unlike just about every other joke I know, this is one that you really can tell in church!

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